“The kids. I swear, they only act up once mommy’s not on the scene.”
“ you’re telling me that the kids decided to play with matches & light your pants on fire? how did they even get their tiny hands on the matches, anyway? & they wait until i’m gone because our little rascals know that i wear the non-flammable pants when it comes to them. you’ve got to be a bit tougher with them! ”